Eric Tulga’s Blognation

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High School Only

High School Only

The Anger Message 6/28/09

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July 3, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Abundant Life?

mailgooglecom3Man i havent done think in a long time…. yay time for a vent and maybe i learn something from this whole process.. what has been going on in my life the last few months… eric has been poor… yep official poor.. how much is in my wallet right now is $7 to my name completely… but somehow my bills are gettin paid, which by the grave of god, my mother has lend me money…i owe my mother soo much…

the last few months, because of the economy and other reasons like my boss is slack.. i just havent had jobs for the closet company and i really havent received a paycheck in 3 weeks or more.. i have been living off of noodles and  dressing and peanut butter sandwiches for more than a month… when my life before was really good, an i ate out all the time and wasted soo much money on food.. i never really knew how much going out to eat kills your wallet.  but because of this, i have learned to rely only on god providing for me, which has stretched me beyond all measure… it has helped me with prayer… to pray and believe what i pray, because god provides.. and if we have faith we can move mountains..  im coming up on another rent due soon. because of this i asked my boss for help, which he told me he would… so for 2 weeks he told me he would front me money to pay for rent and utilities, so i based my life on that… and ate nothing and only drove to church and back, for the youth and for the thorn practices.   but this week i received a phone call from my boss telling me that he wouldnt help me anymore more cause he didnt want to have to deal with owing me money, which i understand, but i wish he wouldnt have told me he would help me out in the first place so i could go out and get a new job to live….

well this week after him telling me this, i was soo angry, and cried for abit.. and didnt know what to do besides get a new job. i took me about a week for finally get one which i worked today being my first day poogans porch…as a server….and of course me and my family is taking a vacation this weekend, what perfect timing lol, i dont care i am way to blessed… but rent is due next week on the 5th… and i have $7…. i need $400…. how its going to happen i dont know.. but i am praying that God will provide somehow…its not that i am being lazy cause i am working everyday til i leave and will work everyday when i get back… its just i just started a new job.weak! i am praying that god will provide..i think the more times i say the more i believe it..man i hate hitting my parents up for money.. it seriously kills me…cause what kind of man am i to have to do that?  but i am taking my own life into my own hands…

the lesson… dont always put your hope and full trust into people even if they are christian.. because they arent Jesus.they have a sin nature in them…. and they fail too… i am not mad at my boss anymore. i forgive him. and have moved on and i am done with the rollarcoaster of when i am going to recieve money and when i am not… which was a great lesson…through storms you learn the most!!!

i also had a awesome conversation randomly with a friend real late at night, when i was drugged up with PM cold meds…. about how she cant completely understand god…..

which somehow came out of my mouth tonight at small group about it..a understanding of not understanding hahah….

We can never understand God, to undestand something is to completely know it…u cant completely understand god, hints why when you read the same verse over and over again year after year you get something new from it, in different times of your life. like when “old christians” get excited about finding something new they never saw in the bible.  you cant completely understand god. you only get little glimpses of it. little tiny lights. if you say you understand something about god.then you are either god, or selfrighteous. i am takling to myself. because when you say you dont understand something, you are always learning about it, cause you never completely get it.when you understand something you are at a stand still.which i think defines the relationship with god and you. if you are lukewarm you think you understand god.u you are a christian(christ follower) then you dont understand it, you strive to know more, to read about him daily, pray to him to get to know him more, look for him everywhere, you go to church to learn from others, go to small groups to hear about what he is doing in other lives and to learn more, u surround yourself with Jesus.

where that came from i dont know..

I PRAY THAT GOD WILL PROVIDE!!

Katya Popova

Katya Popova

February 24, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

watch your back!

d40earlier today, i recieved a text, telling me that someone at church saw some pics of me on facebook, that needed to be discussed, my first thought was what? hahah really, cause i thought for a second and i know, that i havent done anything wrong, and then i began to second guess my self… but knowing that i didnt do anything wrong, i wondered what these pics were of….a couple of weeks ago i went to a very small oyster cook out, at a friends house, and everyone there was having a drink or so, A. everyone there was over 21 or 21, that was drinking… turns out, me not looking at my pictures hard enough noticed, a beer or so in the pics, also noticed these beers look like they are close to me, and maybe even looked like they could be mine, especially to someone that wasnt there…. my first thought was wow, even though i know i dont really need to clear this up, cause they werent mine, was crap what are the high school/middle schoolers going to think, for all they know im at a party gettin drunk, cause alot of the pics were of me jumping up and acting crazy like i always am…

but to a youth, who knows what they are thinking, then again to my small group whom, i talk about drinking and partying, how i say its in my past, what they must think i am a hipocrit i am..even though i wasnt being one, i am at a place in my life where its feels good to say no, or to be the only one at a party not drinking or a bar, i dont need to drink to have a good time, i dont need to drink to be socialable, i dont need a drink to be “cool”… but anyways

just being in ministry and especially wanting to pursue a career in youth ministry has been making think about more things, that i normally dont think about, like being in pictures with alcohol in it, and it not even be mine… where as a normal or whatever person would not think twice, i know now i have to, not because i live this secret life that nobody needs to know about, its that i dont want people to get the wrong idea of me, think that i am doing something i am not, like drinking…

ahh, today i was soo mad at myself, and was such a good life lesson, that the people god has called into ministry he has for a reason, and wants us to be extra careful about life situations, because we could be leading somone into the wrong path…. that always makes me alittle nervous about ministry, about leading people the wrong way or making think something i didnt mean… the more you know the more you will be judged says the bible, and the leaders will be judged more aswell…but that will never stop me, just motivate me to say and do the right thing, as much as i can!

ministry is tough, hard, obviously not as easy as some people think, a constant stretch on how you think you should live your life(ha), but in the end sooooooooo rewarding! how cool is it that God has placed you in a role to bring people closer to Christ???!!!!??? though being a volunteer at seacoast, i dont think i have ever been so stretched in my life, doing things i never thought i would a year ago, and will continue to go that way forever, aslong as I stay wanting to be radical for Christ, which I WILL!

so i thought i would share this, maybe to clear some stuff maybe in your hear about me, but mainly to express what i learned today…thank you for reading, comment if you want to!

love,

eric

 

“JESUS IM READY TO COME HOME!!!!!” UNDEROATH

December 23, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Random Thoughts

randomthoughtstoday i went from a super high working at church today to a super low coming home to a filthy house! these days man just blow your mind, its cause, and when i really think about it, when i came home i really didnt invite the lord with me to the house, i got mad and i guess like the feeling cause i havent been mad in awhile so i decided to stay that way… why i dont know why…

sometimes when you are mad, it just feels good to be mad sometimes, to let alot of built up emotion out… but today i was thinking about alot of paradox’s and just random thoughts about dating/life and what not….

Less is more

Die to yourself to be reborn

we put our trust and hope sometimes in in-permanent things, when our hearts are only made for the one permanent thing

God is everywhere, but he is nowhere (did that just blow your mind)

 

dating wise: you know sometimes when you hear someone say I am over that person… but if they tried to date one of my friends, i would be soo mad… hmmm does this really mean you are over that person? no… cause if you were over that person you wouldnt care who they dated even if they were your friend, and if that person you used to date is now or was or is a good person then you should be happy they would date one of your friends, cause you know both people and im sure they are both good… im not saying im saying this about one person, im saying this about myself.. i said this to one person one day, and i realized i wasnt completely over one person while i was saying it, cause the thought of them dating one of my friends would be weird and freaked me out… which caused me then to surrender it to the lord….. this came out of me, when someone asked me a question, i love when you find yourself preaching to yourself.. hahaha

 

this weekend was good, i got to preach at nitro(middle school service) people downstaires heard me gettin kinda loud and crazy on stage! that made me smile more than anything! i love being crazy and basically being my self on stage… and i love the feeling when the lord completely takes over my body, and i get off stage and wonder what the heck just happened or what i said.. haha.. but as my mentor tells me, thats when the lord really is using you, cause it really isnt you.. haha.. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE what the lord has called me to do with my life! sometimes i doubt it and sometimes i get scared about it, but i know what it is, and i love doing it, its only myself self that doubts myself and not God, cause he created me and loves me, and knows what makes me happy, and thats being on stage telling people about jesus!

this is always the part in my blogs that i wonder what the heck im talking about and pray that God take over my hands like he always does, when i type on here…

small group tonight was amazing! only two people showed up, but it was the two he selected to be there! it gave us a chance to get alittle deeper then usual, just cause i dont know, all of us in our group are ADD to the max and the ones that dont have ADD get ADD by just being in the group like a disease, ha… CS Lewis is soo good….he said something like what we read tonight… that god made human, and God is the fuel, and we are the engines… we need him in order to run correctly, we can sometimes put stuff in our engines that sort of run ok, but most of the times dont run at all, unless we put fuel(jesus) into our engines(bodies)… love it.. i think the way he said it was better but thats what i remember off the top of my head.. ha..

Groundswell tomorrow night, cant wait, doing a skit, i wrote(with brittany), i think its going to be pretty powerful and depressing, showing people that they arent the only ones in the world that their family is like this all the time and especially at CHRISTmas… also made a rediculous video, 3 wisemen(a raptor, a creepy king, and a 22 year old jesus, chocolate) may not be the most biblical groundswell short we have done, but then again which one is haha..

ok im done… but thank you for reading this whomever you are, please leave me a line or something…

Also, if people from a particular church are turning you away from Jesus Romans 3:10 “As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one……. no one is perfect, the only one that ever was on this earth was jesus, and he died for you to wash away your sins, and to give you life to save you, that is the only formula, all other theories are wrong

December 17, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Why do we Fast?

This Wednesday I went on a fast, for family reasons… this had to have been the best thing I have done with my God in a long time… I cant remember a day where I spent, so much time in prayer and in the word then this last Wednesday, in a long time, or maybe ever… maybe cause what I was fasting for I wanted God to intervene soo bad, or wanted this persons heart to completely break for jesus.. but what is a fast.. a fast is taken the place where we would spend time eating or watching tv or playing around on the computer with prayer or in the word, we replace things we normally do with time with God.. I choose food & computer for a day…haha.. i was only going to do my computer, but then one of my friends, challenged me to do no foodas well… immediately my first thought was what? thats too much, i only want to fast from one thing, and i think computer is enough! then felt something tugging on my heart… eric are you serious? and i immediately thought why not.. also which made it hard was I had the day off from work and any of my church activities, so I confined myself at my house, and worshiped and just spent all day with my Lord.. what was extremely encouraging was knowing my whole family was in the fast as well… and Im pretty sure im not alone in this my whole family learned alot from that day….

which also made me think.. why dont we fast more? why do some of us only fast one day a year, for lent? I mean i think lent is great cause fasting from anything to replace with Jesus time is fantastic.. but is lent enough? are we content with one time a year? I am only speaking for myself… i mean i have done fasts before with churches, before i dated someone, and things like that… but not nearly as often as I would truly like to do…

I think im going to make a challenge to myself right now, that I fast 1 once a month, or maybe more… spending that much time with jesus is sooo good!… and only makes me miss it when its done… because he is our joy and only hope… because if we didnt have his hope, what would be the point of living or doing the things we do?

The reason for the fast…. my family was gettin extremely depressed and mourning over this person… and one night at The Well (20s something ministry night 7:27 at seacoast) while standing on the side, waiting for anyone to come up to be prayed over, didnt happen, what happen instead this person was completely breaking my heart, and the Lord spoke to me, to fast, and not just me the whole family… and of course knowing my family and their love for jesus and this person.. they were all on board!

Nehemiah 1 really stood out to me, which im reading with my mentor, it says while he was weeping and mourning he continued to fast… that really spoke to me, what am I doing, trying to carry this burden alone, and sometimes asking god to take this from me, and help the situation in any way possible.. but am I really showing the Lord I want his hand in it? no… therefore a fast was definitely necessary!

this day… really showed me my relationship with jesus, and how I am clearly not spending enough time with him, and how Im basing my relationship with him completely on my works… I literally spend soo much time with leading small groups and doing them…

soo fast, dont look it as something that stinks or a task, look at it as a opportunity to spend 10x more time with the God who loves you soo much!

November 28, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I GOT A SECRET, ITS AT THE TIP OF MY TONGUE, ITS AT THE BACK OF MY LUNGS, AND IM GOING TO KEEP IT!!!!!

secret1Secrets…….. we love secrets dont we.. we love hearing about them, we love knowing them… some of us love them soo much, we love to tell people a secret about ourselves or especially secrets about other people……

secrets secrets…. if somebody mentions that they have one… we without thinking turn this switch on in our brain that SHOUTS….. OMG WHAT IS IT??????? TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME… why? i dont know… i guess maybe the feeling of knowing something somebody else in the world doesnt know… makes you feel important if they tell you… like they trust you with that kind of information…. I ALSO LOVE THE SAYING….. “Ok Ill tell you but you have to PROMISE  not to tell anyone!” hahaha this is probably the stupidest saying to ever be said out of my lips and yours… we all say it sometimes or have said it before.

Secrets can either kill a relationship or build one…. thats where accountability partners come it… those relationships there should be no secrets, cause if there is how the heck can you build off one another… but secrets between accountabilty partners that get out, or telling your best friend thinking you have their trust get out.. thats when SECRETS KILL…

Keeping our sin a Secret……. thats when i think you need a accountabilty or get into a small group and be 100% honest with either other… because there is nothing good about sin, SIN IS DEATH, and we all have it…. soo if we try to take on sin by ourselves we will die… maybe not physically but spiritually….

So when we sin why do we keep it a secret? cause we are scared that we might be the only person in the world that deals with it, and everyone is going to judge you and tell you.. you are a idoit and will never get into heaven cause you did that, or you struggle with that particular sin or a whole bunch of sin…. so we keep it in… sometimes we let it control us soo much we keep it from god, cause we feel, well i asked for forgiveness on this YESTERDAY! and the day before! and soo on…  so lets keep it a secret cause hey… lets make the world think we dont struggle and especially since i am a man, or a leader, WE ARENT SUPPOSE TO STRUGGLE WITH ANYTHING WE LEAD…WE ARENT WEAK, WE ARE STRONG, WE HAVE PRIDE IN WHAT WE DO………. haha ahhh haha i love blogs, just makes me realize what i struggle with while i write…. haha sorry.. god completely controls my hands when i type…..

SOLUTION=GOD

SOLUTION….. Lets not have secrets, when we struggle with any type of sin in our life tell everyone in your small group… get a accountability partner, especially if you can find one struggling with the same sin, so you can DEFEAT IT TOGETHER! ALSO MOST IMPORTANTLY GIVE IT TO GOD, ask for help! he already knows what you are struggling with soo just talk to him about it… REMEMBER JESUS ALREADY PAID FOR YOUR SINS! IM GOING TO SAY THAT AGAIN HE ALL READY PAID FOR YOUR SINS… that means YOU ARE ALREADY FORGIVEN! instead of just asking GOD FORGIVE ME…. THANK HIM.. CAUSE GUESS WHAT YOU ARE ALREADY FORGIVEN! THANK HIM! THANK YOU JESUS! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

i think we are christians sometimes forget about that… that when we sin we let it beat us up soo much about it… we think we arent worthy of it we can never overcome it guess we are human…. because we are born with it… whatever! JESUS ALREADY PAID FOR IT… JUST ASK YOU WILL RECIEVE! 

INSTEAD OF BEATING YOURSELF UP FOR THE SIN, THANK HIM FOR FORGIVING YOU! AND MOVE ON!

BECAUSE OOOHHH NO….. GOD GIVES US MORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE!!!!! GOD WILL GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE!

TO MAKE US REALIZE WE ARE WEAK AND GIVE IT TO HIM! SOOO WITH JESUS WE CAN HANDLE ANYTHING, AND DO ANYTHING!

Genesis 31:27 :Why did you run off secretly and deceive me? Why didn’t you tell me, so I could send you away with joy and singing to the music of tambourines and harps?

SO TELL JESUS YOUR SECRETS!

November 12, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

The Vision


The vision?
The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.
The vision is an army of young people.
You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism.
They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
They wouldn’t even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport.. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.
What is the vision ?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure.
Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games.
This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers
choose to loose
that they might one day win
the great ‘Well done’ of faithful sons and daughters.
Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don’t need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: “COME ON!”
And this is the sound of the underground
The whisper of history in the making
Foundations shaking
Revolutionaries dreaming once again
Mystery is scheming in whispers
Conspiracy is breathing…
This is the sound of the underground
And the army is discipl(in)ed.
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their back boasts “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain”.
Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them ?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them ?
And the generation prays
like a dying man
with groans beyond talking,
with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and
with great barrow loads of laughter!
Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365.
Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.
They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive
inside.
On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide.
Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their very lives – swap seats with the man on death row – guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair.
With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days,
they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.
Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.
Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.
Don’t you hear them coming?
Herald the weirdo’s! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.
And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.
How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great ‘Amen!’ from countless angels, from hero’s of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.
Guaranteed.

October 10, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

$$$CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME$$$$

Lately God has been really working on me alot!!!!! all because i said that prayer LORD search me! turns out eric doesnt trust God with his wallet enough… i have been gettin pretty slack about tithing and giving money to others in need, especially since i do not live at home anymore i feel like i need every cent to live where i live…. i went from alot of money in my account to being desperate for money right now… its not cause ive been spending it on all these stupid things of this world, its cause i havent had a job to do at work in 2.5 weeks! and its been killing me!!! so i have been budgeting like crazy!

last week praise Jesus! my grandparents and mom came here, with tons of grocerys ahhh what a blessing, with my situation!!! plus i love seeing them anyways! they are my favorite! i need to spend more time with them! the day they leave me, man i will fall apart!

ok… soo after this hits me omg rents due on the 5th of october! i need a job cause i need money fast! i go out and look everywhere! starbucks, east shore(which currently i have a job there), terminix, and others!

anyways one day at the gym, i went through my podcasts of newspring church, and there was only that i hadnt listened to… one about MONEY! hahah God is awesome!

the best thing i got from the whole message was “WE TELL GOD WE HAVE OUR WHOLE HEART, BUT WE DONT TRUST GOD WITH OUR MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!” WHAT THATS SOO ME! WHEN I RUN LOW ON MONEY I DONT TITHE AND TRUST him with it! ALSO I WORRIED ABOUT MONEY SOO MUCH! I WORRIED HOW MUCH IM GOING TO MAKE THIS WEEK WHAT AM I ALLOWED TO SPEND… why do i do this, it controls me!   why do i worry about how much im going to be making when i grow up, when can i buy my next cool thing….

something i need to realize more and more is i am fricken rich! compared to the entire world i am rich rich rich! not that i am rich cause Jesus is my Lord, but that is true also, but i mean i am RICH WITH CASH! and so are you, if you are reading this you are really really rich!

and you know what they say about in the bible how hard it is for the rich to get into heaven! like a camel going through the eye of the needle! haha what!  why would God say that! but it makes sense! seriously anytime im doing really well on money, i take my focus off of God and onto what can i buy next, surfboard, xbox 360, omg shoes, ha, but i do! rich people on mtv with lots of money have 200 million square foot houses and they are single living alone, and have 20 cars.. seriously do you think this is glorifying the lord by having this much stuff, or a wall thats gold (master p)… just some things, im not saying i know master p’s relationship with the lord is like… but i am saying when im doing awesome in money, i take god out of my wallet and put it into something “better” like going out to eat or a new xbox game…

just hearing all these… i have put it on the cross given God my wallet completely, and trusting him to provide one way or another for my rent…. (but a misconception i think some christians think is oohh yeah gods going to provide for me no matter what, even if i sit on my butt) haha no, God isnt going to spoon feed you.. your entire life, if he did that then i dont think his love would be that pure… just like parents if they pay for everything you entire life, when you get out into the real world you freak out! cause omg they are the most random expenses…

Gods wants to provide for you, but you need to get out there and give him a reason to do so, go work! the harder you work the more territory he will give you, whether that is more money or just more duties, or put you in a job where its not only a job but its a ministry tool…like my job at petsmart, i hated working there, but come to find out eric was the ONLY CHRISTIAN IN THE ENTIRE STORE! how weird is that, nobody even went to church there, let alone a christ follower… people came to me for wisdom alot, and i was the youngest there, also they ask me weird questions like eric why dont you cuss??? and i would tell them… sometimes i was made fun of, but most of the time i think they respected me and my views on life, and wanted to know more and more… cause i was seriously the happiest person that worked there, and they wanted to know why i was soo happy all the time… the joy of having an amazing Jesus is def something to be excited about! and was confusing for them to understand, but until that vail is lifted from their eyes, it will always sound dumb or weird….

i get off topic sometimes… ADHD or being tired you pick….

 

the thing i want to leave you with the most is a lyric from the dumbest song out there right now.. well not the dumbest but one of them…

“CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME, DOLLA DOLLA BILLS YALL” i know it was a wu-tang song.. but now i think its whatever his name is…

cash rules everything… IT WILLL IF YOU LET IT…THEREFORE SHOW GOD YOU HEART IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE LETTIN HIM CONTROL YOUR EXPENSES, DO YOU REALLY LOVE GOD AS MUCH AS YOU SAY?

why would be let a stupid thing like money control us…

 

but i am not saying money is the root of all evil, dont get me wrong.. money does alot of good things too! mission trips, food for your belly.. taking a homeless guy out to lunch… buying coffee for the one you mentor and talk about jesus… there are many good things we do with money! but dont let it control you!

Hebrews 13:5
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

September 19, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Why Vent? when you can take it to Jesus!

AHHHHHHHHHH…sometimes i feel i say the stupidest stuff, stuff i dont even really mean when i vent….. and alot of times i feel that what im saying doesnt even make any sense, so why do i say it? why do i choose to say these things before thinking hey, your only making it worse, and why dont you pray about it before you even talk about it.. what is this it anyways, cause i come into a coversation wanting to say this, but i end up saying that… sounds like that stupid kfc comercial, this is that, what? that is this? yeah this is that.. haha sorry random.. anyways..  I just wish alot of times before i had conversations with people i was mad with or just sad about, i would pray about it… GOD PLEASE HELP ME ON THIS! its like i say the things i want to say but nooooooooooooooooooooo i cant even say them right the way i planned before talking…

sometimes i question, when i feel crappy about something or mad or sad, when people just say hey give it to god and you will be over it… i say yes to somethings….but somethings do need convertation! yes you can give it to God first and for most but, i do also think you need to talk it out with that person.. thats why we have mouths haha.. jk.. anyways..

GOD I JUST PRAY PLEASE OH PLEASE CONVICT ME BEFORE SPEAKING TO THE NEXT PERSON I NEED TO VENT TO, TO PRAY ABOUT IT FIRST, SO I DONT SAY ANYTHING TO DUMB!

man if venting didnt feel so awesome, i wouldnt do it.. its such a reliever! i say it.. man especially when you vent to another christian, not only is it good but also uplifting.. and i feel if you are going to vent to someone make sure its a christian! cause you always come out of it feeling really positive… then go comfront the person about it, with your knowledge and theirs combined it definetly helps!

so yes God i do want to give you my problems first cause your burden is light and your yoke is easy! please help me on this!

 

and yes i do feel like i just vented viablog..but thats what these are for anyways…hmmmmmmmmmmm

September 12, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

His ways are soo much Greater than Mine!

J's flower!man its been awhile since ive written something, just felt completely led to write something down, cause God completely takes over my hands, and i forget 90% of what i put down on these things..

Well lately my life God has just been blessing me like crazy and I had yet to go through any sort of storm, which in the back of my head wondering when that time will come up.  I was in church the other day on saturday and Greg my pastor was preaching, and that morning i was super tired for some reason of staying up til the weeeeeehours of the morning for my bday ha.. but i was in church and i began to fill overwhelmed with the thought of me ever being a preacher.. after listening to greg my head began to race like crazy, thoguhts i would never have thought blew up.. i opened my mind up to satan during church! and he blew it up for me.. i began to feel that omg im not suppose to do this, im not that funny, i could never talk that long, what if i talk to fast and i couldnt make the hr mark, im not qualified at all, im not that bright of a guy, then it hit me im not gettin anything out of this message, whoa what if one day somebody says that in their head about me, how disapointing is that?… then God does what he always does to me and blunts slaps me, and says eric chill out man, trust me… but i kinda blew it off, cause people always says this when you have thoughts like that.. Trust in God… what does that mean to you? ok back to the story.. then i heard greg talking about his son in law asking him to DATE his daughter! DATE..ive never heard of that, that sounds crazy to me, completely crazy.. but this message was for me, wow God is good… im 100% in the situation where I am about to start to date this girl, and need some words of wisdom to get this one right this time! and what greg said at first i thought was crazy, but now think its a must… so i have yet to do this but im going to call him and ask for a coffee date or something.. this thought doesnt scare me until i step in that store and make that phone call..  sunday i told her i needed to take 3 days of prayer and fasting from you, to see if we should go any further…

monday turned out to be just what i needed.. i met up with my friend’s in the morning for some coffee… one friend being a youth pastor, to help him get some ideas for this weeks message… we went through luke 15.. such an awesome parrable, of the man whom had 100 sheep and noticed in his herd there was only 99, and left all 99 sheep to go look for the 1 lost sheep, and when he found that sheep, he gabbed it and threw it over his shoulder and carried it home and they had a celebration..  go read it..

anyways talk to him about the message this weekend, cause he was one of the ones whom married one of the pastor’s daughters! soo it was perfect! and he helped me soo much! soo much wisdom!.. this time i think everything is going to right, ive never seeked wisdom before i got into a relationship or took time to fast and pray, or just pray about it day and night!… usually i seek her myself without god’s help or anyone elses opinion and then when i get what i want, i ask for help in situations, when usually the answer is eric you could have fixed this before you started dating..  This also is crazy in a sense that when you surrender it to God, he has full control of it, so it could take as long as he wants, or he could blow it up, or he could make it soo i am married in a year i dont know.. i just saying.. since ive let him in now.. i cant say no to him of what he wants! but with this message and through prayer, i know now what he wants…. God shut a couple of doors in my life right now and Opened Huge ones right now… and i was blind to them until today what doors where opened.. cause i just wanted to concentrate on the doors that were shut… i wanted to think well if those doors shut.. then they all should shut.. man im glad to have a roommate whom loves jesus and me too much… as i vented to him, he was like eric your dumb God has completely opened this door for you, and you need to take it, and you will.. then it clicked why arent i praising him still right now for that door being open? who cares about the other things, those will come when they are suppose to come, right now, i need to keeping working, and building my ministry, especially with the youth! god has opened a million doors since honestly may for me, and has expanded my territory beyoung my every thought, just with volunteering at the church now…  man

MY GOD IS GOOD, and it will always stay that way… thank you Jesus for storms, and days of complete confusing and blah.. because you are just shaping my mind and my heart for the future…GOD I GIVE YOU MY BODY TO DO WHAT YOU PLEASE WITH IT.. its not mine, even though at times i think it is.. this LIFE ISNT MINE, ITS ALL YOURS, EVERYTHING TO THE GLORY OF YOU AND NOT ME OR MAN…I WONT EVER PRAY FOR SAFETY I WILL PRAY YOUR WILL IS DONE AND ALL I DO IS TO FURTHER YOUR KINGDOM, I AM OBESSED WITH YOU JESUS!  I SURRENDER I SURRENDER I SURRENDER!

THANK YOU FOR READING.. I HOPE THAT MAYBE THIS HELPS YOU OUT, CAUSE IT HELPS ME BY JUST WRITING IT DOWN!

August 26, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment